Erin M. Fry - Middle Grade Author
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Random Thoughts, Rants, and Occasionally, Reason

With three kids, papers to grade, miles to run, books to review, guides to create, and stories to write . . . this page will be sorely neglected more often than not. But sometimes, I have something to say.

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Sun vs. Snow: Pitch and First 250 Words Honing Help

2/16/2015

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Michelle Hauck and Amy Trueblood are hosting a critique workshop/blog hop for anyone who would like peer review of their query and first 250 words. 



Thanks for any and all feedback. 



Title: CHASE
Genre: YA Action/Suspense
Word Count: 46,500

35-WORD PITCH:

When seventeen-year-old Eric becomes an unwitting passenger in a high-speed police pursuit, he learns his driver—a childhood friend whose sudden disappearance he never understood or forgave--isn't seeking redemption but . . . revenge. 


FIRST 250 WORDS:

BMW 328i
Odometer Reading: 11,351 miles
Gas Tank: Ninety percent full

9:27pm

 
Don’t take rides with strangers. 


It wasn’t like my mom was big on imparting wisdom.  Her motherly advice went something along the lines of, “Stay the hell out of the way, Eric.” Or her classic, “Try to be more like your brother, why don’t you?”  But this seemed like standard parental stuff.   

Don’t take a ride with a stranger. 

But he wasn’t a stranger, really. I was ninety-nine percent sure he was in my sixth period ceramics class. Sat in the back, by the door.  When he bothered to show up to ceramics class.  Pretty sure everybody called him Lobo. Even the teachers.

Lobo. Wolf. Weird name. Still, if I knew he went by Lobo, he wasn’t a stranger, right?

Plus, it was either risk a two-mile ride home with this sorta stranger or hold a wall up at this P.O.S. party until Braden realized that Micaela was never going to make out with him, no matter how much time he spent in his dad’s garage doing chin-ups.   

“Thanks, man,” I said, pulling the door of the BMW closed and settling back into the tan leather seats.  

Sweet ride. A BMW 328—newer model.  Funny, though.  Not the car I would have pictured Lobo driving. Maybe it was his mom’s. Or dad’s. It could be his cousin’s-girlfriend’s-uncle’s for all I cared.  If it meant I didn’t have to walk home in this chilly, drippy California spring night, then I was all good. 

15 Comments
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    ​Erin Fry has a couple of things she would consider passions: reading, writing, running, and teaching. And though it has taken a while to get here, she now gets to do all four of them--and get paid!

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